This'll learn ya, durn ya.

Here at EBW we may seem like a bunch of knuckle-dragging s**theads with maybe two brain cells to rub between all of us on a good day, but you'd be dead wrong. We're actually mouth-breathing f**kwits who have ONE brain cell to rub between us on a good day. That's why we gather these facts up, so that one day when we learn to read we'll be able to learn and be smart.

How did we write this without learning to read, you ask? That doesn't make any sense, you say? THAT'S how dumb we are! We can't even create an airtight premise!